How Do You Recover from Spiritual Numbness?
The first step is never as complicated as we make it out to be.
Earlier this week, my friend Gabriel and I were discussing how our emotions often affect our relationship with God when our conversation transitioned to the topic of leprosy.
In biblical times, leprosy was often considered a curse from God as a severe punishment for sin.
It was such a dreadful disease that many would have preferred death over facing the symptoms and ostracization that came with it.
I used to think leprosy was merely a disease that deformed the skin, but Gabriel made me understand that it was much, much worse than that.
Apparently, leprosy is a nervous system disease that severely attacks the nerves.
Its symptoms start in the skin and peripheral nervous system before spreading to other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, face, and earlobes.
Those with leprosy experience gradual disfigurement of the skin and bones, twisting of the limbs, and curling of the fingers to form a “claw-like” hand.
Their outer ear also thickens, and their nose collapses.
Also, they may experience tumor-like growths called lepromas on their skin and respiratory tract, and their optic nerve may deteriorate.
What I find intriguing, though, is that most of the deformities associated with leprosy don’t stem from the disease itself.
Instead, they develop from the loss of pain sensation due to the extensive nerve damage the victims suffer.
For instance, someone with leprosy can place their hand into boiling water without flinching.
Due to this loss of pain sensitivity, leprous patients can hardly tell when they’re hurt, and as a result, their wounds usually fester from being untreated.
While leprosy isn’t as prevalent today as it was in biblical times, we face a similar challenge that affects our relationship with God—spiritual numbness.
The reasons behind spiritual numbness can vary greatly.
Though it usually happens when you find yourself doing things a Christian shouldn’t be doing, especially if they’re a habit you left behind when you became a Christian but now find pleasure in or use as a distraction from reality.
It could also happen when you don’t feel motivated to study God’s word, fellowship with Him, or engage in other Christian activities (like evangelism, prayers, etc), and you’re now tired of trying.
As a result, the time you once reserved for watching sermons might now be devoted to watching pornography or comedy movies to make you feel something other than numbness.
Likewise, the time you once used to ponder on God’s word might now be spent indulging in unhealthy thoughts.
Also, your Christian friends whose commitment to God once inspired you might serve as a reminder of your depravity, so you avoid them and everything else that reminds you of how you were doing so well just a few weeks ago but now aren’t.
I was spiritually numb a few weeks ago, as I mentioned in my last newsletter, but, fortunately, things are getting better each day.
While I’ve yet to reach that point where I’m burning fiercely for God, I’m intentionally refusing to let my numbness and other emotions affect my relationship with Him.
Admittedly, this isn’t always an easy task, and there have been times when I became overwhelmed to the point of taking a break from trying.
But I’ve found that this particular challenge becomes more manageable when we rely on God’s strength, which has been made freely available to us, and yield to his love instead of fixating on our shortcomings.
The sooner we stop letting our feelings dictate our spiritual reality, the more we can respond to God's love with gratitude and humility rather than guilt or indifference, and the better we can learn to relate to God as His children rather than mere slaves.
As Christians, our ultimate goal should be to reach a point where our relationship with God is primarily, if not entirely, driven by His Word rather than our feelings or lack thereof.
The fact that we don’t feel like doing what we should be doing isn’t a valid enough reason not to do it.
Also, the longer you seek comfort in distractions, isolation, and everything outside God, the more your spirit starves, the stronger your flesh becomes, and, as a result, the more spiritually numb you will feel.
Much like leprosy, spiritual numbness makes us not feel guilty or convicted when we hurt our spiritual life.
And it can be hard to visit a doctor when you don’t even realize you’ve been severely injured and the infection is spreading rapidly.
So, even when you can’t find the words, admit that in your prayers to God and talk to Him anyway. I promise, God is not limited by our ineloquence.
And even when you don’t have the mental energy to study God’s word, read it anyway. At the very least, it will remind you of the truths you might have forgotten or stopped believing.
Alone, overcoming spiritual numbness can be needlessly frustrating.
However, with God, it’s not only possible but also a worthwhile experience that contributes to our edification.
A Question to Reflect On
The last time you drew away from God and returned to Him much, much later, He received you well and instantly, even while knowing you will withdraw from Him again (He’s omniscient like that). So, do you truly believe that if you seek His help now, in spite of your feelings or numbness, He will reject you out of anger or disappointment?
One Thing That Blessed Me This Week
John 17 (it’s Jesus’ prayer for his disciples across every generation, including ours).
It's like any other relationship - we need to nurture it.
Sorry, I don't feel very inspired at the moment, but just wanted to say hello and let you know that I read your post.