Consumed by Jealousy and Competition

How do you cope with feeling jealous of fellow Christians?

In the past few months, I’ve discovered and listened to a few renowned teachers of God’s Word, including Paul Washer, Voddie Baucham, and R. C. Sproul. And each time I listen to these men, I feel so in awe of the wisdom in God’s Word and how they unravel it with so much clarity. Unfortunately, I didn’t grow up listening to sermons like these that emphasise salvation, the new birth, the fruits of the Holy Spirit, and all other important aspects of life. Back then, the sermons I listened to were mostly “prosperity-driven.”

Even on the rare occasions that I found a pastor who talked about things other than financial success, not all shared lessons strictly consistent with the Bible. And of the ones that did, only a few of them did so humbly; some, it seemed, taught the Word just so they could be praised for their wisdom and deep understanding of scripture.

All these reinforced one of the many misconceptions I had about Christianity then, which is that a direct revelation of God’s wisdom from the Bible was reserved for only pastors and those in other ministerial positions. I believed “regular” Christians could only attain godly wisdom by listening to those ministers whom God had directly revealed it to. The funny thing is, I knew the Holy Spirit lived in every believer, but I just didn’t think He revealed things to every believer. So, whenever I saw a regular Christian who was filled to the brim with godly wisdom, it always baffled me.

Even though I know better today—that God’s wisdom is available to every Christian who desires it for the right reasons—I often stumble over an old vice that God is now helping me overcome, one day at a time. And that’s jealousy laced with unhealthy competition.

The most recent case happened early last month when my partner shared a sermon on renewing one’s mind taught by one of our mutual friends. As I listened to the sermon, I was in awe of its very deep and eye-opening message. But later, while meditating on the notes I took while listening to the sermon, I noticed I was a bit jealous that this friend of mine, who wasn’t a pastor, understood God’s Word so deeply.

I remember wondering if I hadn’t read the same Bible passages he cited before and why I didn’t understand them the way he did. After berating myself for several minutes, I tried to find comfort in the thought that this friend had been a Christian longer than I had, which was probably why he was so much wiser than me.

But later that night, as I prayed to God about these feelings, some questions took root in my heart and really got me thinking. Questions like: why does it bother me that my friend knows more about God’s Word than I do? And what is more important in the end—my not knowing as much as he does or my getting the opportunity to learn the little he knew about God’s Word?

Now, I could tell you my eyes opened after I pondered these questions, and I instantly stopped being jealous of other wiser Christians, but that would be a lie. Instead, I sat there on my couch, feeling contrite that I could be so carnal in my weakness, and begged God to tell me what to do about it. Thankfully, I got the answer soon after—search your heart, examine your motives, and always set your eyes on God.

How many times have we Christians read the first line of a Christianity-related post online, and even before understanding what the post is all about, our first instinct is to check if we disagree with it so we can immediately criticize the author? When you catch yourself doing this, ask yourself if you’re so eager to correct the author so they know better and don’t mislead others or if it’s because you want an opportunity to flaunt your knowledge of God’s Word. Usually, it’s the latter.

Likewise, how often have we seen people marvel when someone our age or younger, or someone we know personally, unravels God’s wisdom, and we think, That should be me up there? I need to do more as a Christian, just like this person.

But why? For the potential fame and glory?

From what I’ve learnt so far, I would argue that doing the right things for ungodly reasons, such as jealousy and fame, is just as bad and vain as doing the wrong things for any reason. That’s why we should always search our hearts before doing anything to know if our motives are pure. Because if we want to have a deeper understanding of God’s Word just so we can flaunt it afterwards, then our hearts aren’t in the right place, and we’re pursuing self-glorification, which is sinful, unchristian, and, at worst, idolatrous.

So, the next time you catch yourself being jealous of other Christians, rather than become bitter and competitive and covet what they have that you lack, it helps to pray to God to cleanse your heart so you can receive His Word from these people with an open mind, and then share it humbly with others for their sanctification and to God’s glory.

Questions to Reflect On

• Why do you desire godly wisdom and understanding or share God’s Word with others? Is it so people can praise or recognize you for it or so you can use it to enlighten others?

A Few Things That Blessed Me This Week

• “Biblical Manhood” by Voddie Baucham. I actually listened to this sermon about three weeks ago, but I keep returning to my notes on it—it’s that good. I strongly recommend the sermon to everyone reading this, even if you’re a lady. You can listen to it on YouTube.

• “Biblical Womanhood,” also by Voddie Baucham and available on YouTube.

• Psalm 51.

• Psalm 71.